• Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs

It Is Okay If You Were Single This Holiday Season

The Holidays are winding down and the limbo between the end of December to mid-February is normally seen as a time for self reflection. Sometimes though, that reflection comes from unwarranted sources like, auntie when she was sitting at the kitchen table questioning you about your love life. I am sure we all have been there and we all have heard the comments:


“When are you going to actually settle down?”

“When are you having kids?”

“When are you getting married?”

"Do you have anyone for Valentines Day?" “Why do you never bring someone home for the holidays?”


*Screams internally and stares at family*


Picture By: Wallace Chuck

Those statements sometimes make that slice of sweet potato pie taste a little funny. I am not sure about anyone else’s situation but continuously being questioned about your pursuit of love during Holiday gatherings is not ideal. Then to top it off as soon as December ends you cannot go to the store without seeing pink, red, and roses. Yes, February is quickly approaching and you cannot seem to shake the thought of figuring out your “love life“.


First, let me start off by saying do not allow the Holiday season to make you feel bad about how your “love life” is going for the New Year coming up.


Although the Hallmark channel, had the same characters with the same storyline ending (why does the woman always move from NYC to a small town in Nevada?)


YOUR STORY is not a Hallmark tale. Allow yourself the room to write your own love story, and just a thought...maybe try a Hallmark mystery instead?


Listen, it is okay if you were not under the mistletoe or when the clock struck 12:00am for 2020 you did not kiss anyone. It is okay to have been single during the Holiday season and to not feel guilty about it during the New Year.


However, if you are still having mixed feeling let me give you some thoughts to reflect on:

  1. Repeat this: “I am love. In everything I do and everything I am. ”

  2. My relationships past, present, and future do not need the validation of happening during the Holiday season.

  3. In this New Year if love is a goal I will work on healthy relationships (don’t let auntie, that mistletoe, or roses convince you that texting your ex is what you need to do).

  4. Enjoy your single-hood! Being single is not a negative it is transitional point in our life that we will all go through. Learn from it and learn to love it!

  5. If I am single during Valentine’s Day what are ways I can take time to care for myself? Or how can I show those around me that I love them?

  6. Make sure you are loving yourself first

Take a moment and really sit with these thoughts. Do not use your time for self-reflection to speak negatively to yourself. No more “I’m going to be alone forever“ or “If I was like ______ I wouldn’t be single“.  The Holiday season is too short to measure the love you have to create. Besides, it is better to let time do what it does best and create a plan completely different than what you’ve already drafted. In my experience those are always the best ones anyway!



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Written By: Cheyenne Tyler Jacobs

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